FOCUS: What Kills Men?

A man is a leader. Every leader must be at his best to lead from the front. A leader must know where he is leading his followers. A leader must be able to go that way himself, and lead by example.

With that quality of leadership, a man can lead himself, his family, and the next generation into their destiny. If a leader is blind and leads the blind, both will end up falling into a ditch. This is the teaching from the greatest teacher of all time, Jesus Christ. Matthew 15:14 reads, “...And if a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a ditch.”

Unfortunately, we have a generation of men that want nothing to do with seeking wisdom and understanding, yet by the virtue of their position are leaders.


When God created the first man, Adam, He filled him with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. He communicated to him everything concerning His plan on earth; what He wanted man to do and not to do.

Adam did all this without a woman in his life. Why? God was sure that when a man is equipped with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, he can effectively pass on the same knowledge to his wife and children (family).

Therefore, God was comfortable that man would teach his wife the will of God and defend what he knows to be the truth. Don't forget that when Eve was deceived by Satan to eat the forbidden fruit, she was with her husband.

They were together according to Genesis 3:6. “She took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat.” When eve (woman) ate the fruit, nothing happened. However, when Adam (man) ate of the fruit, all hell broke loose. When God came to reprimand them, He went straight to the leader Adam, and asked him, “Man, where are you?”

Does this mean that God didn’t care for what the woman did? Was the woman free to do whatever she desired without consequences? No. That is why the woman was also judged. However, the point that God was bringing out at that time was that the leader (man) had neglected his position and responsibility to defend the truth he knew. Instead, he allowed his wife to be deceived by the Serpent.

Adam was with his wife and he said nothing. Adam, the one who taught Eve the way of life in the Garden. The one who shared with her the exact principle she was being persuaded to break. Now his wife was under attack and he had nothing to say!

When a man loses his position and responsibility, he resorts to silence and leaves everything to the woman to figure out. This is a very dangerous state because a woman was created to operate under the authority of a man. When a man’s authority is challenged and he remains silent, the next thing is falling into the ditch and does go into alone, he drags his family into it.

Men, there is a time to remain silent, and there is a time to speak. When Satan checks on your wife and children, that is the time for a real man to roar like a lion. The enemy cannot invade your territory/kingdom and you curl up and withdraw. Your position as a man is to defend, to protect, and to guard. This is why the curse of judgment that came upon man was tougher than that of a woman.

Genesis 3:17 reads, “And unto Adam, he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast has eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: CURSED is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt, thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee …”

When man sinned, his wisdom and knowledge was corrupted. Human wisdom substituted godly wisdom. This is why man’s model of leadership and authority transformed such tactics as fear, intimidation, and manipulation. To sustain his leadership, man became abusive in power.

Prophet Hosea said in Hosea 4:6, “My people perish/destroyed for lack of knowledge…” For whoever lacks knowledge, perishing is inevitable. A man who lacks knowledge does not perish alone. He goes with his family and later his generations until someone raises to break that cycle of ignorance.


Jesus was confronted with the problem of the men of His time who lacked understanding, and as a result, abused the sanctity of marriage. These were noble men, leaders of God’s people, but they lacked understanding because they stopped reading and studying to understand the original plan of God concerning the male and female.

Mathew 19:1-6 reads, “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, have you not READ, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”.

Sad Note:

Many men do not regard knowledge as important. No wonder there are very few men in places where knowledge is acquired, such as church and skill-development institutions. Instead, you will find the largest number of men in bars, casinos, and places of little or no value to a man’s destiny.

While women are prevalent in places that add value to their womanhood, such as skill-development institutions, churches, and schools. Those that are not able to get an education can be found in community organizations working together to find solutions for their problems and needs. NGO’s are often helping young girls and women, not because they discriminate against boys or men, but because men disqualify themselves.

It is very difficult to convince a man to sit and be mentored into something productive. Men want things quickly; instantly. Gambling is one of the leading killers of men’s potential because it’s a get-rich-quick syndrome. Men resent going through the process of growth. It takes too long and they hate anything that must go through a process.

Great men of old, were prepared by God for years before they entered their destinies. Think about Moses, who went through vigorous training and preparation before God sent him to deliver His people from Egypt. David, who took time to wait upon God before being crowned the King of Israel. Joseph, and the trials he went through before he becomes a Prime Minister in a foreign land.

We have a generation of boys who want to climb on top of leadership positions, however, don’t want to hear anything concerning mentorship, preparation, or going through a process until they are ready to take over a high position.

Borrow a Leaf From God:

Now, let us consider the almighty God, who groomed His Son, Jesus Christ, before bestowing upon him the highest position of leadership. Jesus Christ went through a process of preparation and mentorship, after which He was promoted by His father (at the right time).

Jesus spent 30 silent years in preparation. Don’t you think God cared for the people who were dying in the hands of Satan during that period? Yes, of course, He did! So then why didn’t God quicken the process? God, in His infinite wisdom, respects the process of preparing a leader.

At 30 years old, His son was ready to take over the leadership of the world. His character was fully grown, His identity was fully formed, and He knew who He was and Whose He was. No wonder when He was attacked, abused, and had His authority and credentials questioned, He never fought back.

He never attacked those who opposed Him. He never needed to. He was secure in the hands of the One Who sent Him. God allowed His son to grow in wisdom and favor before Him and men.

Luke 2:52 reads, “And Jesus increased in WISDOM and stature, and in FAVOR with God and man”.

What makes one be a great leader is Wisdom and Favor. These two are not attained in one day, one year, they take time, this is what we call the process. Men, our role model Jesus Christ went through a process to become what He is right now – “King of Kings and Lord of Lords”.

Don't Forget:

Wisdom is the application of knowledge that has been acquired. This includes all the years you have been groomed by God through reading, studying, listening, experiencing, making mistakes, and being mentored.

Man, if you neglect or despise the processes of acquiring knowledge and wisdom, you are doing yourself a disfavor. By the time you are fully grown in physical stature, you will be useless to the people who matter in your life. You can’t afford to just grow up as a male. You need to be intentional to help yourself and to allow others to shape you into a real man.

Remember, Men are Born, Real Men are Mentored.

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