Mentoring Boys: Phase 5

Post-Marriage Phase

Before I dive into this, let me congratulate you on your newly wedded bride. The dream of your heart. Thank you for acting like a man to take this step that most men shy away from. Now, you can sit among men and discuss real issues of life. A man will never grow up until he finds a suitable helper.

Marriage grows up a man. God knew that however much Adam was endued with everything about manhood, he was incomplete without a woman in his life. He needed a companion, a comforter and a helper. This is why after seeing her, he exclaimed, “Wow! this is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, she has been extracted from me.” I mean that was the first love language and romantic expression a man uttered before his new wife.

He sounded romantic, didn’t he? I believe Eve smiled and patted herself on the back for being a special person. She might have thanked God for giving her such a great romantic man. What can men learn from the first encounter of Adam and Eve? Adam was a gentleman, affectionate and romantic.

A Man Knows How to Present Himself to a Woman When Courting Her

A man knows how to present himself as a real man to a woman when he wants to win her heart. He knows what a woman loves to hear and he behaves accordingly. He saves and takes her to places that leave sweet memories in her mind.

He spares time to talk to her to have quality time. He talks about nice things, how smart she is, compliments her hair, her smile, her striking figure, how much he loves her, etc. He buys presents, not necessarily expensive gifts but gifts that leave a woman in deep thoughts that her friend thinks about her.

This guy knows how to project his voice in a romantic way when courting a woman. He can even open a car door for her, hold her hand as they walk, and even carry her bag. This is a real man, isn’t it? But wait and hear the plight of a woman after he takes her home.

Frequent Issues Women Experience

Most women I have met during my ministry among men, have the same question: “What happened to my husband after marriage?” They say their husbands change a lot since marriage. They don’t behave the same way they did when they were in courtship. A man can be very caring, romantic, and affectionate.

After marriage, women have said,

1. What went wrong with my man? Is he seeing another woman or is he bewitched? I don’t know what do to, I’m scared to death.

2. This is not the man I married, Oh God, what should I do? I feel used, I feel like a sex object, I get disgusted when he makes advances to me at night while all the day he ignored me.

3. He is doing things behind my back, we used to discuss things and talk about anything but now, getting a word from him is like getting water from the rock. He comes in, eats, watches Tv, bathes and sleeps. This kind of behavior is killing me.

4. When I try to ask him what went wrong, he doesn’t want to listen to me. I feel trapped and betrayed

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